I’ve wanted to write about our experiences as foster parents for awhile now. I’ve been keeping it all on my sleeve and stored up in my head.
We became foster parents in April of last year and it’s crazy to think that we’ve been at it for almost a year now. In that time we have had 6, SIX, kids come through our home.
Our first little love was with us for a month. Two brothers were for a day. A two year old boy was just under 2 weeks. A 13 yr old everyday after school for almost 3 months and our last babe was here for 4 months.
Each call comes with its own story but each kid is just about the same…
They need to be loved and feel loved.
Unfortunately, each call comes with it’s own set of headaches. Every time we are in between a baby, I tell Andrew that I don’t want to do it again for the sole reason of having to deal with the miscommunication and frustration.. Then the phone rings…..
I have a three month old baby, we are going to court at 3pm to remove her from the home; can you take her? YES!
We are out now, trying to locate a mom to remove a baby girl, can you take her? YES.
We have a 2 day old in the hospital and he doesn’t need to be here any longer, can you come get him? YES !
We have a 2.5 month old that is in the ER right now.. once the tests are all done, can we bring her to you? YES!
A few of those calls were immediately followed by, “we found a family member, we are all set now” or ” you have a little boy already staying with you so it’s not going to work out” It’s quite a lot to break your heart a little each time. People always tell me that they could never do it because they wouldn’t want to give them back. They ask, how do you let them go? It has to be so hard for you. For me?! I get to love these babies, no matter for how long, after they are taken from their parents… we hold them and get them healthy until they go back home or on to their forever homes. Can you imagine how hard that is for them???
I never really realized before becoming a foster parent how far a little love can go.
We take for granted how much a bottle at the right feeding time makes a difference. That a bath and a snuggle before bedtime can instill a sense of stability. Routine is wanted and being hugged can alter their life. Sleeping in the same bed every night makes them feel safe and knowing that we will come when they cry makes them feel important.
We fell head over heels for our first placement on night one. The boys adored her and she oddly enough looked like a Tomer. She was only with us for a month before being moved to a family members home.
We took in two brothers for a day the day after their removal until they were able to find a placement for them. We provided respite for another foster family and watched the two year old in their care while they were away for a few weeks. He stayed behind because he was in the process of being re-placed with his adoptive family. We were lucky enough to be a part of the meeting and introductions before he left. The beginning of the school year brought us a very sweet 13 year old to hang out with us after school until HE was adopted in November and moved to another town. Our last placement was a rough one. She came to us at 2.5 months old. She cried all. the. time. and stayed with us for 3 1/2 months.
Knowing that for the short time each of those kids were a part of the Tomer’s, impacted their lives the way it did, makes me that much more aware of my purpose. Being a mom.
Taking babies in, getting them healthy, fat and happy and sending them on their way- whether it be back home or to their forever home, we know we made a difference in their life. Even if they’ll never remember us.
Because one day, you may get a call that your very first placement (the one you all fell in love with on day one and would have kept the second they asked) isn’t working out with the family member they placed her with and they’ll ask if we would take her back… potentially forever. That call may come, like it did for us and fate will be on your side.
We met with the social worker the day after the call came and of course said yes!! She will be one next week and so long as no approved family come out of the wood work, she will spend her birthday with family and then be back with us in a few days later!
It will be a very long, hard and emotional road to permanency but we’re up for the challenge. We asked Landon if he could have a foster baby come back and stay with us, who would it be and he immediately said her name. After the social worker left, he said “if she comes home, I’ll be so so happy!” My little guy gets it and has the biggest heart.
So if you need me, I’ll be getting ready. I ordered a car seat and am redecorating her room. Clothes shopping will be a must! #iwasmadeforthis #welcometothetomers
I’ll be sure to update you all on our journey as we go… thanks for the love, be kind.
Keep Smiling. Xx